Thursday, June 16, 2005

Fantomas, The Village Dublin, 15/06/05

Two gigs in two nights, my new flatmates think this is standard for me but sadly it's not true, which is perhaps for the best as I don't think I was quite recovered from Slayer the previous night and was unable to move my neck in any vertical planes.

The venue, The Village, is a bit disappointing, it's too long and narrow making it difficult to see anything in the sold out venue, and it was too damn warm. I managed to find a pillar to lean on, but I'm sure said pillar only made seeing the bad difficult for those unfortunates at the back. Despite the lack of support band the crowd is still keen to find a good vantage point for the gig, simply because of the presence of Terry Bozzios's drum kit, which has an impressive 24 cymbals. This man is clearly going to fill the place of Dave Lombardo, this is a man who drummed for Zappa and who'd presence is well noted on the Baby Snakes movie. This sends people fighting to stage left, but this comes at a sacrifice, for anybody having seen Mike Patton before will know that in order to truly get what he is doing, you need to be able to see him, and in The Village this is difficult due to the low stage.

That man in a wizard, the Fantomas sound comes across so heavy and metallic on record, but live it is based on Pattons work with samples, tape loops, keyboads and other electronic items. This clash of sounds is what makes Fantomas great,where on paper metal / grunge / jazz / electronica sounds iconoclastic in the extreme, live it works, hence this is my second time seeing Fantomas just to make sure it wasn't a fluke last time. Fantomas where also the perfect way for Patton to cast of the Faith No More legacy, his slide from singer to animal noises is as unusual decline that the only comparison is an actual guitarist deciding to take up bass.

Song wise, it's hard to note what happened as it all happened so fast and I've not heard a Fantomas record since 2001. I did note some work from The Directors Cut however, most notably The Omen Theme, along with Terror Lake and Rosemarys Baby. We also get a damn good encore, for all of 50 seconds.

My favorite moment was the mandatory Mike Patton winding up the crowd, this time choosing to slag off U2, which doesn't go down as well as you would have though. "You're angry at me?" Patton retorts, "But they're your fault!", but he does go onto accept responsibility for causing Fred Durst, which is big of him.

In all it was a damn good night, so different yet still accessible, making time fly by and worth the 20 Euro ticket price. Go see them next change you get.

Starting to like going to gigs without a camera, but seeing that there are about 30 digital cameras and phones in the crowd I imagine the images are out there somewhere, and probably better than the ones I would have taken anyway.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

International Humour Pt. 2

A French Joke:
Do you know a good fairy?
Yes.
Do you know a bad fairy?
Yes
Do you know a really really really really really bad fairy?

(Might be lost in translation)


Sweedish jokes I have learnt are more than rhyme, they also lies. When in Powerscourt for example I was told it was where Pet Cemetry was filmed, causing some confussion as it just didn't ad up. When questione further the truth emerged, "It wasn't really filmed here, it was just a Sweedish joke"


And they say the best omedy is based on Truth...

Slayer, Dublin Ambassador, 14/06/05

So many times I've tried to see Slayer...

2001, cancelle due to 9/11
2002, Download, no point going, I'll be seing them in Roskilde..
2002, Roskilde, missed festival due to lost passport
2004, Download, moved stange or cancelled, not sure, either way I missed it
2004, joint tour with Slipknot, moved to Germany after life fell apart

2005, Dublin, finally made it!

Mastodon in support, a good support act, something common with metal gigs as I think back to Alice Cooper with Dio, Anthrax with Motorhead, One Minute Silence supporting Slipknot when they where good, but the only thing to note of thier set is that they finished on a Thin Lizzy cover, Emerald.

In the interval Security tell us that rowd surfing and moshing is not allowed, but I don't think the message got through.

Slayer open with God Hates Us All, I know the message didn't get through, and as the rest of the set provides Bloodlines, Reign in Blood, Mandatory Suicide, Dittohead and the most essential Angel of Death, it's pretty damn clear the message goes unheeded (I'd of got the setlist of the soundman but he would only give it to me in exchange for some wed, difficult as this is a hash town). I do start to think however why, seeing that it took me years to see Slayer, I didn't learn more of thier back catalouge, not very wise of me I must say.

Security however, frequently drag people away, people I dont recall seeing again. They even confiscate cameras, securing the image of Dublin as one incredibly conservative city.

As stunning as it was to se Slayer, I think it might have been to late. Not that I had high expectations, but when Tom Aryaer smiles between songs, then asks us to shout Happy Birthday to his son at the end, you have to wonder just what it took to make Slayer mellow out. Dave Lombardo also seemed better of in Fantomas than his original band, who only graced him one small drum solo, but as Im seeing Fantomas tonight it should all work out fine.

I also saw Kerry King out in Dublins Temple Bar.

Wicklow Mountain Blues

On Monday me and some friends hired a car to tour the Wicklow Mountains, giving me my first glimpse of Ireland outside of Dublin. First on the tour was Johnny Foxes, the "Highest pub in Ireland", which is also a claim of the Guinness Skylounge and a pub in Brownslow. Similar to this, I've seen at east three pubs in Dublin claim to be Ireland oldest pub, Brazen Head Inn and Bleeding Horse included. Exactly who is in charge of verifying these facts is unclear, but whoever they are, they should be sacked.

Our tour also took in Powerscourt Garden, a country home with exquisite Japanese Gardens with bridges, lanterns and more flowers than I could possibly name and a hidden Blue Bell covered grotto, and an Italian garden which was just grass (That you weren't allowed to walk on). The gardens frequently provide the scenery in movies, including Stephen Kings Pet Cemetery.

Final stop of the tour was Sally Gap, and it was by far the finest point. It was late in the day so we had the place to ourselves, and in addition to the breath taking scenery there as an inspiring wind about. It took the breath away but was made public urination difficult.

So that was it for the day, at least it was supposed to be, but as we drove back to Dublin I spotted an interested site, a pete farm! Nobody knew what I was talking about so I insisted we get out and have a look, so I ran across to grab some and get some photos of their Gormlyesque arrangements. While doing this however, I lost my camera. This o course could have been seen as tragedy, but to me it was only a reminder of the twisted sense of humour of the forces that be, so who could not see the funny side? Irony at its best, and an unforgettable end to the day.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

International Humor

Living in Dublin has given me many opportunities to gain insight into foreign culture, but as there is so much to learn I opted for a short cut,I'm just going to learn to say "Cheers!" and tell a joke in a variety of languages. The theory behind this is that wherever I end up, the pub is always the first point of call, and it'd be impolite to go the pub without wishing good health to others.

So far, "Cheers!" is the greatest success:

Prost! = German
Yammas! =Israeli (?)
Yackheydow! = Welsh
Slancha! = Irish
Salude! = Spanish
Kombeh! = Korean
Kombaih! = Japanese
Nastroiva! = Russian
Sveikata! = Lithuanian

These are all of course, spelt phoneticaly


The joke task is much harder, it requires the language skills I don't have, but I have learnt some translations.

From the German comedy, Seiben Zweger I have:
"A woman goes the the Doctors and she says, "Doctor Doctor, it's sore when I touch here, here and here, what's wrong with me?"
The Doctor says, "You have a broken finger!"
(Did I mention the woman was blonde?).

Lithuanian jokes seem to revolve around hedgehogs.

"A hedgehog found a bomb, but nobody found the hedgehog" seems to be as classic as a knock knock joke,but my favorite so far is:

"A hedgehog falls down a hole and everytime he tries to climb out he falls back down. He's trying this for hours on end until he says to himself "Right, one more try, then I use the ladder".


But last night I got the best result yet, while at the house of a Chek friend, showing them how to play table football properly, I was introduced to the antics of Mat & Pat. It follows the adventures of two friends who when faced with a simple task, such as painting a gutter or paving the garden, will concut some unnecessarily complex solution drawing upon their ample DIY skills, and naturally, it never quite goes to plan. Best of all, its all silent comedy so it has universal appeal, allowing me to laugh along with everybody else. And man, it might have been the situation, it might have been the new comedy, hell it might have even been the bong, but Mat & Pat are my new favourite comedy team, move over Punt & Dennis

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Guantanamo

Strange things are afoot at Guantanamo bay according the BBC News.

"...a guard was said to have urinated near an air vent.
The wind allegedly blew his urine through the vent,
soiling one detainee and his Koran"

"Other Korans became wet after night-shift guards had thrown
balloons filled with water into a cell block, the report found"
How more incriminating and nonsensical could an excuse be?

Friday, June 03, 2005

Will I Ever Grow Up To Be Alec Guinness?

New Star Wars, shite. Thankfully, I saw it at a UGC cinema so once I'd seen it I could have a pint then go into a different movie, the infinetly better The Cat Returns, which was wierd, but still made much more sense than Spirited Away.

I'm finally moving out of the hostel following the introduction of the 120 Euro weekly rate, and Im movinmg into an appartment on Bachelors Walk, in a small flat with six people, but hey, tis cheap, and they gave me wine at the house viewing

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