Tuesday, March 21, 2006
The Aristocrats!!!
Never Judge A Book By It's Cover; The Mosquito Coast
For such a bright cover The Mosquito Coast, Paul Theroux's tale of a family leaving America to start a perfect world, one better than Gods half hearted effort, in the Honduran jungle is dark, obsessive and engrossing.The last time I found a book so difficult to put down was when I read Henry Miller, and indeed when I begin to warp kids into my own image this is the stepping stone I'll use it to prepare them for Tropic of Cancer.
The author says that this is the story of Charlie Fox but reading the book you'd be forgiven for thinking it is about his father, Allie Fox, the man who will tame the jungle with one precious commodity, ice. A man with a lot to say and grand ideas, a no nonsense man, someone who gets the job done but you certainly don't want to go for a quite pint with.
Charlie looks up to his father, he's his eldest and favourite son, but the story shows how hero worship changes with time, idols fall easily and deep in the jungles of Honduras, when life itself is a challenge, our story teller grows up quick and takes control of situations, just like his father told him.
I could say more, but it would be most dastardly of me to give away any more of the plot, so I shall simply leave you with a very strong recommendation to go out and read this book.
Ten Rules of Goth
The Guardian had a great article today about people who've grown up Goth, including the tale of the West London dentist who dresses in black and plays Nine Inch Nails and Killing Joke while drilling your teeth, although he sounds more like an industrialist to me, and the drills are just proof.
The article discussed research by Sussex Uni that found Goths went on to become rather successful, arguing that time spent reading classical literature makes them articulate and informed, and that it is the kids alienated from the scally masses for their insightful ways that go on to become Goths, and in turn these kids have the most potential.
Not sure if I agree with the article 100%, an ex-Goth writing about research conducted by an ex-Goth on why Goths go on to be successful, it sounds like an objectivity minefield to me. I did however like it's ten ways to tell if your boss if a Goth:
Is your boss a Goth? 10 telltale signs
1 Drinks snakebite
Former or closet Goths still display a lingering thirst for snakebite - half a pint of lager with half a pint of cider, sometimes with blackcurrant. Snakebite is the worst thing the Goths ever did after their invasion of the Roman Empire in 267.
2 Penchant for eyeliner
It seems everybody's wearing eyeliner these days, but a Goth's make-up is a smidgen more extreme: the skin is powdered white, and black eyeliner is used on eyes, brows, lips and sometimes - to draw cobwebs, probably - the skin. NB: Goths do not use bronzer, rouge, or St Tropez self-tan.
3 Cape
Capes have been fashionable this winter, but don't let that confuse you. A Goth wears a cape so long it grazes the floor. Looks a little incongruous over a business suit.
4 Went to Leeds university
Strangely, Leeds has a nigh-on magnetic attraction for Goths, and there are more cape shops per capita in the city than anywhere else in Europe.
5 Whistles Fields of the Nephilim/ Sisters of Mercy/ March Violets/ Subway to Sally songs
This is why no Goth ever had a successful career as a milkman.
6 Strange hobbies
Many of your colleagues will spend the weekend at B&Q, drinking Lambrusco and playing five-a-side. Not Goths. They read preposterous fantasy books, do a spot of Wicca and anything "a bit medieval".
7 Black clothing
Though both wore a lot of black, it is easy to differentiate between the Goth and the 80s throwback by asking this simple question: can you imagine this outfit in a Robert Palmer video? The Goth's predilection for black clothing is a reflection of the Black Aesthetic - taking those things society regards as evil or wrong and making them beautiful. Many items in the longtime Goth's wardrobe may now have faded to a sort of charcoal shade.
8 Disturbing dancing at Christmas party
The Goth sticks rigidly to the routine of two and a half steps to the front and back again, while gazing at the floor in an affected fashion and waving hands around mysteriously.
9 Disarmingly pointy boots
It is a little-known fact that inside their shoes, Goth's' feet are just as pointy as their winklepickers.
10 Drives a hearse to work
And doesn't work at a funeral parlour.
However, from my own experience, and the Goth episode of Spinechillers, I think they should also include:
11 Some vampire related name
Either in the form of their middle name, or more likely, inflicted onto their children who will face a lifetime of bullying as a result and vow to never become a Goth
12 Deny Being A Goth
Although clearly a Goth they'll tell you that you're misinformed, and come out with lines like "A Goth? No, I'm more of an Industiralist" (This line served me well for years) and look at you the way a "norm" would if you confessed to fancying the ginger one from Girls Aloud.
13 The Number 13
They'll find unnecessary ways to make lists round of to Goth numbers like 13 or 666
Later in the day the artiucle was recycled by the BBC. Oh they make it all sound so middle class!
The article discussed research by Sussex Uni that found Goths went on to become rather successful, arguing that time spent reading classical literature makes them articulate and informed, and that it is the kids alienated from the scally masses for their insightful ways that go on to become Goths, and in turn these kids have the most potential.
Not sure if I agree with the article 100%, an ex-Goth writing about research conducted by an ex-Goth on why Goths go on to be successful, it sounds like an objectivity minefield to me. I did however like it's ten ways to tell if your boss if a Goth:
Is your boss a Goth? 10 telltale signs
1 Drinks snakebite
Former or closet Goths still display a lingering thirst for snakebite - half a pint of lager with half a pint of cider, sometimes with blackcurrant. Snakebite is the worst thing the Goths ever did after their invasion of the Roman Empire in 267.
2 Penchant for eyeliner
It seems everybody's wearing eyeliner these days, but a Goth's make-up is a smidgen more extreme: the skin is powdered white, and black eyeliner is used on eyes, brows, lips and sometimes - to draw cobwebs, probably - the skin. NB: Goths do not use bronzer, rouge, or St Tropez self-tan.
3 Cape
Capes have been fashionable this winter, but don't let that confuse you. A Goth wears a cape so long it grazes the floor. Looks a little incongruous over a business suit.
4 Went to Leeds university
Strangely, Leeds has a nigh-on magnetic attraction for Goths, and there are more cape shops per capita in the city than anywhere else in Europe.
5 Whistles Fields of the Nephilim/ Sisters of Mercy/ March Violets/ Subway to Sally songs
This is why no Goth ever had a successful career as a milkman.
6 Strange hobbies
Many of your colleagues will spend the weekend at B&Q, drinking Lambrusco and playing five-a-side. Not Goths. They read preposterous fantasy books, do a spot of Wicca and anything "a bit medieval".
7 Black clothing
Though both wore a lot of black, it is easy to differentiate between the Goth and the 80s throwback by asking this simple question: can you imagine this outfit in a Robert Palmer video? The Goth's predilection for black clothing is a reflection of the Black Aesthetic - taking those things society regards as evil or wrong and making them beautiful. Many items in the longtime Goth's wardrobe may now have faded to a sort of charcoal shade.
8 Disturbing dancing at Christmas party
The Goth sticks rigidly to the routine of two and a half steps to the front and back again, while gazing at the floor in an affected fashion and waving hands around mysteriously.
9 Disarmingly pointy boots
It is a little-known fact that inside their shoes, Goth's' feet are just as pointy as their winklepickers.
10 Drives a hearse to work
And doesn't work at a funeral parlour.
However, from my own experience, and the Goth episode of Spinechillers, I think they should also include:
11 Some vampire related name
Either in the form of their middle name, or more likely, inflicted onto their children who will face a lifetime of bullying as a result and vow to never become a Goth
12 Deny Being A Goth
Although clearly a Goth they'll tell you that you're misinformed, and come out with lines like "A Goth? No, I'm more of an Industiralist" (This line served me well for years) and look at you the way a "norm" would if you confessed to fancying the ginger one from Girls Aloud.
13 The Number 13
They'll find unnecessary ways to make lists round of to Goth numbers like 13 or 666
Later in the day the artiucle was recycled by the BBC. Oh they make it all sound so middle class!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
The Hardest Working Man In Dole Business
I When I think about he amount of interviews I go to and jobs I apply to, and the distances I travel, I think I have earned the moniker I think I must work harder while unemployed than most people do while working full time. One would think this unrewarded effort could break a man, sending him into a hopeless downwards spiral, but hey, I put the Soul in Dole, I'm unstoppable.
Three big jobs things from the last week, starting with a typing test for a bank job. Kicked its arse, kicked it into next week, but next Thursday I'm around to round three, the aptitude tests. They clearly have little faith when I claim to be more competent and articulate than say, a worm. The bank things have all been down in distant Speke and after the first one I realized I didn't have enough money for bus fare home (Liverpool buses being extortionatly priced). This resulted in a six mile walk home in the rain, but while some would have moaned, I relished this and broke out in funky strut, after all, I was listening to a Ramones live album. In fact, I had too much a funky strut, I wore my interview shoes down to the heel on the outside, wrecking my leg muscles n the process (And my shoes). This has prompted me into inventing mode, currently in development is an essential item for anyone with too much funk and too few shoes, the funkopedic insole!
Possibly sponsored by George Clinton (Who has a new album, How Late Do U Have 2b B4 Ur Absent, is out now, by the way). Walking back the second time was a considerably less funky Henry Rollins bootleg from Manchester Opera House, but I was far more flexible shoes who's soles suffered no damage
.
The second job interview took me to distant Dewsbury, not far from Leeds, a small town who take their charity shop shopping very seriously. Data Analyst post, knew I didn't really stand a chance, there as the wild card, but still, the job centre paid my fare and I got to go back to Ilkley and buy three bottles of Gordons Distillers Cut Gin, and then hang out in Leeds and discover the joy of pickled ginger. When applying for the travel thing of the job centre to go to Leeds, a TIS, not only did they loose the application and have to rush it through there and then (Something they've previously told me is impossible, meaning have to walk there and back twice) but I asked if they could help with me having to commute or relocate until my first pay cheque. This was met with a resounding no, as although unemployed for three months, I wasn't unemployed enough. Turns out you need to be unemployed for six months before they can do anything to actually help you get a job. When I conceder the extra money it would cost to be on the dole for an extra three months, it strikes me as being far more expensive than providing me with a travel pass. It also seemed foolish to send me to an interview for a job that I couldn't accept. Imagine my lack of surprise when the news this morning said Job Centre failed to provide a decent service.
Finally, this weeks final application was to be a montage assistant, traveling around Europe putting up tents prior to the holiday season. While this seemed a tempting offer in the paper when I was given more detailed eyebrows, mostly mine, started to raise. Only £120 a week? Have to share a tent with two others despitebeingg in an empty campsite overflowing with space? Holiday Break are clearly taking the piss. They where supposed to call yesterday for a telephone interview, and after waiting in all day, I heard nothing.
So, undisheartened my quest for work continues, with an application to The Raddison being in the pipeline, an application destined to be shot down in long haired flames. Till then, I'm on dole but I'm not a dolelite...
Three big jobs things from the last week, starting with a typing test for a bank job. Kicked its arse, kicked it into next week, but next Thursday I'm around to round three, the aptitude tests. They clearly have little faith when I claim to be more competent and articulate than say, a worm. The bank things have all been down in distant Speke and after the first one I realized I didn't have enough money for bus fare home (Liverpool buses being extortionatly priced). This resulted in a six mile walk home in the rain, but while some would have moaned, I relished this and broke out in funky strut, after all, I was listening to a Ramones live album. In fact, I had too much a funky strut, I wore my interview shoes down to the heel on the outside, wrecking my leg muscles n the process (And my shoes). This has prompted me into inventing mode, currently in development is an essential item for anyone with too much funk and too few shoes, the funkopedic insole!Possibly sponsored by George Clinton (Who has a new album, How Late Do U Have 2b B4 Ur Absent, is out now, by the way). Walking back the second time was a considerably less funky Henry Rollins bootleg from Manchester Opera House, but I was far more flexible shoes who's soles suffered no damage
.The second job interview took me to distant Dewsbury, not far from Leeds, a small town who take their charity shop shopping very seriously. Data Analyst post, knew I didn't really stand a chance, there as the wild card, but still, the job centre paid my fare and I got to go back to Ilkley and buy three bottles of Gordons Distillers Cut Gin, and then hang out in Leeds and discover the joy of pickled ginger. When applying for the travel thing of the job centre to go to Leeds, a TIS, not only did they loose the application and have to rush it through there and then (Something they've previously told me is impossible, meaning have to walk there and back twice) but I asked if they could help with me having to commute or relocate until my first pay cheque. This was met with a resounding no, as although unemployed for three months, I wasn't unemployed enough. Turns out you need to be unemployed for six months before they can do anything to actually help you get a job. When I conceder the extra money it would cost to be on the dole for an extra three months, it strikes me as being far more expensive than providing me with a travel pass. It also seemed foolish to send me to an interview for a job that I couldn't accept. Imagine my lack of surprise when the news this morning said Job Centre failed to provide a decent service.
Finally, this weeks final application was to be a montage assistant, traveling around Europe putting up tents prior to the holiday season. While this seemed a tempting offer in the paper when I was given more detailed eyebrows, mostly mine, started to raise. Only £120 a week? Have to share a tent with two others despitebeingg in an empty campsite overflowing with space? Holiday Break are clearly taking the piss. They where supposed to call yesterday for a telephone interview, and after waiting in all day, I heard nothing.
So, undisheartened my quest for work continues, with an application to The Raddison being in the pipeline, an application destined to be shot down in long haired flames. Till then, I'm on dole but I'm not a dolelite...
Sunday, March 05, 2006
The Lost Art of Stealing Maintence Books
I remember in the old days of Keele University I found great joy could be had stealing maintence books, especially ones that had been chained to walls. I feel this did no harm, reading back through them now the reply to every complaint is that it has been reported followed by the reply "Then why is it still broken?".
The real fun of these humble A5 blue books was writing stupid comments in them. Such as this one below, from Horwood Hall G Block on 27th May '02:
Colin never did get that damn good servicing. Similar jinx where had in what I think was Barnes C Block, who where very artistic in harrising thier maintence staff (Who deserved it anyway):
The only other good lines come from the very distant Hawthrone Flats, where the books where frequently chained to the wall to stop them being used as door stops but then became irrisitable targets for a Scoucer in a strange land. In the Hawthornes the maintence book not only allowed one to ask for extra lightbulbs or another attempt to kill of the silverfish in your cupboard but allowed the different flats to communicate:
And finally, why not use the book to brighten someone's day? While I doubt that this is about the cleaner, as lets face it, Stokie cleaners couldn't even float someone dredger, let alone their boat, it may have made someone smile:
Or maybe feel slightly stalked all those years ago.
Anyway, that's my glimpse back to the carefree days long departed, oh the high-jinx...
The real fun of these humble A5 blue books was writing stupid comments in them. Such as this one below, from Horwood Hall G Block on 27th May '02:
Colin never did get that damn good servicing. Similar jinx where had in what I think was Barnes C Block, who where very artistic in harrising thier maintence staff (Who deserved it anyway):
The only other good lines come from the very distant Hawthrone Flats, where the books where frequently chained to the wall to stop them being used as door stops but then became irrisitable targets for a Scoucer in a strange land. In the Hawthornes the maintence book not only allowed one to ask for extra lightbulbs or another attempt to kill of the silverfish in your cupboard but allowed the different flats to communicate:
And finally, why not use the book to brighten someone's day? While I doubt that this is about the cleaner, as lets face it, Stokie cleaners couldn't even float someone dredger, let alone their boat, it may have made someone smile:
Or maybe feel slightly stalked all those years ago.Anyway, that's my glimpse back to the carefree days long departed, oh the high-jinx...
Friday, March 03, 2006
Religion and Satire
I was thinking back to my time in Dublin when Paddy Power where forced to withdraw posters and billboards sporting this image:
Now Irish is a pretty conservative country, and it's very Catholic and they're hardly known for their sense of humor concerning the big guy.
I was however able to get some from The Hemp Store on Capel Street, those subversives. So I using what is available to me help this image live on and show I just don't have it in for Islam, I think every religion needs to be on the reciving end of satire.
Now Irish is a pretty conservative country, and it's very Catholic and they're hardly known for their sense of humor concerning the big guy.
I was however able to get some from The Hemp Store on Capel Street, those subversives. So I using what is available to me help this image live on and show I just don't have it in for Islam, I think every religion needs to be on the reciving end of satire.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Long Hairs of Aigburth Unite And Take Over
This evenings North West Tonight contained news that alarmed me, two pupils of St. Margaret's High School, Christian and Dominic Bridge, where expelled for having long hair. I have said before about the difficulties of having long hair but this was of extra interest to me because I went to St. Margaret's High School.
If I remember correctly in my time there I never even spoke with head master Dr. Dennison, comments to cut my hair from staff where few and the worst part of it was having to put up with the other students verbal abuse as sadly Hanson where still in public memory (Sadly, so where Technohead). I just tied my hair back and I was fine.
My hair wasn't really noticeably long till I was in the Sixth Form, where Head of Sixth Form JOF seemed to have a more liberal attitude, but sadly these two are still in the lower school. I think JOF took at least some mercy on me because unlike 90% of the people I did actually have an interest in learning, and winning the first round of a national debate competition helped to. I was especially honored when at the end of school awards JOF presented me with "The Joffie" for Intellectual of the Year. Not bad for a student with long hair...
According to the Liverpool Echo elder brother Dominic was bullied at the school for two years and assaulted, loosing some sight. The student who attacked him was allowed to return to his studies, but then he had short hair. I was glad to read however that not only do their parents support their choice, but they plan to take the narrow minded bastards to court.
The story is getting some coverage on the BBC and Liverpool Echo, but no national, yet..
Contact details for the school are limited, but they do have a student forum, where I've registered to vote my support, but I'm going to have to try doing more to raise the profile of the case or do something to support them (I'd make a great support case for them)
Re-Admit The Long Haired Two!
